In this part a nuance and explanation as to why I leave Facebook with more words.
It has been on my mind already for a while and I have been going back and forth with thoughts regarding what Facebook really means for me and
what it has become as in what function it has in my life.
The first thing I have done is looking at myself, my personality, needs, what I like and what not. This is completely neutral without feeling sorry for myself nor showing off.
I came to the conclusion that I simply value spontaneous, personal, maybe intimite, free flow being together with a small group of people (as I don’t know how to behave in larger groups when it’s not professional).
Therefore, I don’t need a constant stream of likes, comments, to get attention I’d otherwise miss. I don’t mind not having them and when I post something I don’t look at the number of reactions, if any.
Most of you, the people I know, live on distance and through Facebook I kept you updated about where I am and what I’m doing.
But, that’s just quick things and within 3 weeks the relevance is lost and the post or moment that was memorable for me is somewhere in a big pile of other posts and then what is the value of it?
I’d rather spend time in the moment and use my words and actually take time to write everything down so it is a coherent story worth to remember and to read back. The African stories on this blog are a very good example of this.
Also, as I don’t need many people around me all the time with a superficial contact, I’d rather like to see 2 or 3 people taking real interest in me, who actually read what I write (yes, quite some posts on Daily Musings will be BS, but the other categories are not) and to have good conversations with.
For the people who don’t follow the blog? Fine, no problem, I cannot make the choice for them and no hard feelings at all. It only questions how sincere and mutual interests is in each other. I don’t include family in this! No matter what, family always will be family and I’ll be together with them anyhow.
It equally is the same the other way around as well. I’m also not interested in all my Facebook friends all the time. Nice to see of some people how they are doing but my real friends, them I invite to subscribe to this blog and I’ll contact them the same way I always did. In fact, the closest friends I have are outside Facebook ready anyway.
Don’t I feel FOMO (fear of missing out)? No, not really, I think it will be adapting. Adapting to going back to a world in which Facebook didn’t exist. Back to that world where I didn’t miss anything so why should I miss something now? There are other ways to keep in touch as well. Just… Call once in a while? Use the phone what it is made for?
I do am a news junkie and want to be knowledgeable on what is happening in the world so my world doesn’t reduce to what locally is happening within 100km around me. In fact, I cannot even follow local news as I don’t speak the language yet!
Anyway, Facebook gave me a one sided view, mainly USAmerican news, but, frankly, I don’t care about it while I’m literally at the other side of the planet. I’m way more interested in my new culture, language, what is happening and what the changes are and will be over time. That’s nice to think about, to write about and to use to make me feel at home. I never felt really at home in the USA so what is the incentive to be updated about life there?
Then the whole data discussion, as to how much Facebook knows about its users. It is way too much I feel comfortable with. I know I “agreed” to sync my phone with some Facebook entity (Facebook, messenger, IG, WhatsApp, Skype) but that they store it permanently forever on their servers? No, no, no. In that I do not agree anymore.
I downloaded a copy of my data the other day. They have all my contacts, also the contacts of people before Facebook existed and which I do not have in my phone at the moment for a while already. They know when I logged in from where with what IP address, which ads I clicked and what pages I liked just to get all my information to sell ads. Uhm… No thank. Not anymore, if I want something I’ll find my way.
Maybe I’m still old fashioned, maybe “I don’t understand ‘it'”, who knows?
I know I’ll be more productive, less distracted and more focused on things that matter.
I used Facebook to kill time in breaks, woke up with it, went to bed with it. Hell no! I have a beautiful wife I wake up next to and fall asleep with. That’s my priority.
Facebook kills time that kills you
To me soon not anymore, I’ll be free, taking time for things that matter and that I think is important. That. Exactly that I’ll share here on this blog for the ones who have an interest in me, my random thoughts, opinions, and experiences on life.
That’s the nuance and motivation!
Inspired? Ask me how I deal with it in the comments or daniel_arendzen@hotmail.com and maybe you’ll feel happy too by looking forward #deletingfacebook
Now coffee!
Cheers!
Daniel Arendzen 